Oh, Chrisette

Charlemagne the God now holds the blue ribbon for Biggest Troll. I’m just now getting around to watching Chrisette Michelle on The Breakfast Club and damn that shit was painful.

Now I’ve only heard this woman’s name in passing these past few weeks. I don’t listen to her music. She’s never given me a reason to care about anything she’s ever done. My general feelings toward her are indifferent.

But her behavior in this interview was… just…oh, bitch.

Every once in a while, Charlemagne and I are on the same page. His facial expressions were spot on. I felt them. Those faces were my own as I listened to this bitch try to make herself a martyr for change for performing at he-who-must-not-be-named’s inauguration. Girl, wearing your “Basquiat skirt” and singing church hymns does not a martyr make. End of discussion.

Donald Trump has been painfully honest about his views. He’s made it perfectly clear that nobody’s changing his mind.

Nobody else was with the shits.

Not Beyonce. Not Celine Dion. Not Elton John. Not Garth motherfucking Brooks.

And, yet you thought…

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I’m not here for her. Never have been. And now never will be.

 

 

2017 Oscars not-so-white

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The oscar noms are in and bitch, we outchea!

Anyone who knows me knows i stan for Ava DuVernay. Aside from the fact that, as a filmmaker, her work is some of my favorite, she’s also just a gem of a human being. And even though they snubbed her with Selma back in 2013, she’s back and even mo’ black with her documentary 13th.

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13th. Moonlight. Hidden Figures. Lion. Fences.

Shout out to Bradford Young. He’s the first black man nominated for the Best Cinematography category for the movie, Arrival. Personally, I’ve been a fan of his work since he linked up with Lady Ava for her second feature, Middle of Nowhere (now streaming on Netflix) and to my knowledge, he’s shot every movie that Ava’s directed since, including Selma. Other movies shot by him include Pariah, Mississippi Damned, and Mother of George. He has quite the catalog, and even if you didn’t know him by name, you’ve probably seen something touched by him.

Ava DuVernay. Mahershala Ali. Dev Patel. Lin-Manuel Miranda. Denzel Washington. Barry Jenkins. Octavia Spencer. Viola muthafuckin Davis.

Of course, time will tell if all this inclusion is a fluke, but i have to say kudos to whoever was involved in helping the academy get their shit together this year. Black folks & p.o.c. been making quality shit, it’s y’all that are late to the party. But better late than never, I suppose. So…y’know… you’re welcome.

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Inaguration Day Blues

I choose to pretend that none of this is actually happening. I’m sure that’ll bite me in the ass at some point, but hopefully, I can get away with it for as long as I can.

Donald Trump has been inaugurated as the 45th president of the u.s. and honestly I throw up in my mouth a little bit every time i see him. No, I did not watch the inagural address because I love myself. And I imagine donald trump can’t speak at length about much of anything.

As always, the antics on the internet have managed to keep my spirits high in this time of mourning.

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This grainy still is of a man being punched in the face in the midst of anti trump protests taking place in D.C. But not just any man. It’s that guy who tries to call he and his “movement” the alt-right, but whose really just another bigot with a platform.

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B. L. O. O. P.

That about sums up my feelings on the matter. My sentiments exactly.

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I chuckled. And I’m also sure Michelle probably had a Purell infused facial scrub after this one.

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And of course, even a postmortem Professor Snape is serving up some scathing humor to get our minds off of the fact that in the fight between good and evil, good still manages to keep a sense of humor even though he’s getting his ass kicked.  May the odds be ever in our favor.

But probably not.

Michael Eric Dyson was on TBC

… and I’m grateful to Dr. Dyson’s mouth that DJ Envy’s time on the mic was minimal.

The Breakfast Club is my top pick for urban radio listening. Though Envy is hella dumb and I still haven’t figured out what Angela Yee’s function is, Charlemagne usually seems to pull off some decent interviews – especially given a particularly impressive string of guests they’ve had in the past six months.

Now, I’ve heard this man’s name in passing, but I’ve never looked into who and what he actually does. As far as I knew, he was some dude with a Ph.d. who writes books and does the occasional speaking engagement. But he was on TBC this morning because he’s got a new book out. The name recognition was enough to get me to click on the video and I have to say, as “woke” black men over 50 go, he’s alright. I thought he had a lot of interesting things to say. His arguments were well reasoned and his critiques of Donald Trump and Steve Harvey were spot on.

I like him. If I had money, I’d buy his book. He seems like an interesting dude and had a lot of smart stuff to say.

You can check it out here.

Sidebar: I scrolled through the comments and I noticed people kept asking if they’d ever interview Tariq Nasheed on the show again (as if Dr. Dyson wasn’t doing it for them).

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Let me just say I don’t see it for Tariq Nasheed and haven’t seen it for him since the first Hidden Colors. The fact that people seem to enjoy his ankh nigga antics and divisive rhetoric baffles me and I’m sure Dr. Dyson doesn’t consort with his type. I couldn’t stomach sitting through more than three minutes of Tariq’s bullshit the last time he was on TBC. So, if we could just let Hidden Colors 15 flop in silence, I’d be most appreciative.

 

Your PEOTUS, ladies and gents

So, Donald Trump allegedly likes golden showers and I can’t shake the feeling that stories like this are going to be a staple in the Trump administration. You know, this bullshit doesn’t shock me in the slightest. In fact, I’m glad this is happening. I think it’s indicative of the fall of an empire, the last days of Caligula in this bitch.

It’s funny that this is happening now. America’s had it’s political shocks and scandals in the past and, of course, I wasn’t there for most of them, but I’ve know enough history to say that this just feels different. The shit is about to hit the fan and no one is really safe. This would all be hilarious if it didn’t actually affect other people’s lives.

But I’d like to think that the prettiest roses grow from under concrete. We can always hope that out of this smoldering pile of ashes known as America will come a phenix in the form of a more equal, utopian, socialist society. America, or what will be left of it, could be great one day, but it ain’t today.

*takes earbud out* what

Podcasts help me keep my brain busy when I’m waisting time. And I also like hearing intelligent takes on what’s going on in the world. I’m carrying these with me into the new year. Insightful, funny, relatable shit, these are my favorite podcasts.

The Combat Jack Show

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I’m a huge hip hop head. It’s never been enough to just listen to the music. I like to know the ins and the outs of my favorite artists and personalities. Often times, an artist’s personality sells me on their music before I even hear their music. It’s not just rappers, Combat keeps you on your toes with his guests. From talks with Russell Simmons and Talib Kweli to Jamilah Lemieux and Marc Lamont Hill, Combat’s interviews are fun, fresh, and (usually) full of insight.

The Read

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I discovered The Read this past summer and my life has not been the same. They’re funny as fuck and I cannot get enough of their hilarious commentary on the never ending stream of bullshit that populates American politics and pop culture. And those listener letters… my god.

The Friend Zone

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The Friend Zone is my shit. Dustin, Assanté, and Fran are keeping me mindful and on my mental health. Their episodes are interesting and informative, not to mention hella entertaining. If I could climb through the matrix to spend a day with them, I probably would.

For Colored Nerds

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FCN. It’s smart. It’s funny. I’m always interested to hear what Brittany and Eric have to say on any given week. They seem like two cool, cultured  individuals who I wouldn’t mind having intelligent conversations with over coffee.

Code Switch

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Last but not least, NPR’s Code Switch

All Praise to da Migos

I paid $1.50 for chicken nuggets at burger king – 10 of em, got some dank ass weeds, and made it home just in time to see the Golden Globes.

And I’m glad I was listening to the voice that reminded me to tune in on sunday night

Tracee Ellis-Ross took best comedy actress at the top of the show and honestly, it set the tone for the rest of the night. One of my personal favorites, Atlanta, took home two awards for it’s premiere season.

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(Speaking of premiere seasons, Issa Rae was also nominated for Insecure’s debut season, undoubtedly a testament to the creativity and freshness of these emerging writers of color.)

And of course, I would be remise if I did not mention Moonlight. I’ve still yet to see it but I’ve heard nothing but amazing things about it since it came out. All in all, this is probably the most diverse class of award winners that I’ve ever witnessed in my 20, almost 21, years. This year’s Golden Globe ceremony was refreshing.

And shout out to Meryl Streep. Spoken like a real one.

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Honorable mention goes to questlove for dj-ing the hell out this show. I’d also like to thank the producers for limiting Jimmy Fallon’s time on stage. Y’all really had your shit together on this one. All in all, I think it was a pretty iconic night. (And even though they really stepped in it with that Hidden Fences shit, the resulting fallout dragging from black twitter was delicious.

It’s honestly impressive how fast the forces mobilize to call y’all on your bullshit. Luckily they took that L in peace and everyone else could enjoy the rest of their night.

Hopefully we’re in for an eventful awards season.