Storytime: The confidence of a white man is unparalleled. There is no other race and gender that can be so consistently and vehemently wrong yet still be trusted sources of information.
So I’m at work. It’s about 10 o clock, which is closing time for my restaurant. It’s cold out so I decide to go crank my car up so the engine can warm up. After closing, it usually takes 30 to 45 minutes to shut down the line and wash all the dishes. Right? Right.
I’m about to run trash. I parked my car close by the dumpster so I go to crank my shit up before I take the trash. Low and behold. The engine won’t turn over, which means that the battery is dead. Whatever. I go back in and finish closing. I’ll just have one of my coworkers jump me off when we all leave. I got some jumper cables in the trunk.
We close and my coworker’s ride agrees to help me jump the car off.
These are whites.
I give him one end of the cables and hook the other end to the terminals on my battery. It’s dark outside so all I can tell is that the cables appear to be hooked correctly on his battery. We try a couple times and my shit still won’t turn over. Tf?
I turn on my phone flash light and find that this wigger has hooked the positive clamp to the positive terminal, but the negative clamp, he had simply grounded to the metal underneath the hood.
That ain’t how this works.
I say, “oh, you need to put the black one on the negative terminal.” He replies, “If you put it on the negative terminal, it’ll short my battery.”
After that, I washed my hands of it. I just unhooked the cables and told them to go home and that I’d call someone else. Plus, I also know some people are weird about their cars and I wasn’t going to hook the cable to the battery if he really didn’t want me to. This bitch had the nerve to tell me my battery might be shot.
No bitch. This battery is brand fucking new. YOU just don’t know what the hell you doing, but want to act like you do.
I did call someone else. And we hooked both ends of the cable to the positive and negative terminals of each battery and what do you know, my car started.
Moral of the story: Don’t trust these wyt folks and their wyt hot confidence cuz they love to be wyt and wrong.